Man VS Bear

I was followed today. Scared like never before, and trying to shop. Yep, simply grocery shopping. It wasn't even full fledged shopping. I had a few things to pick up. The grandbabies needed more milk and why not get a few more things? 

It was a day like many before. Early morning start to work and ending back on my side of the world 12 hours later. Long days sometimes mean that I am staring blankly into the abyss while working through the end of the day tasks.

Starting off like normal, I head to the milk and get a text that the babies want cookies. Any great Nana will be sure those babies get what they want. It is part of the fun of having grands. While picking up those cookies (luckily they were on the end of an isle) I was approached. At first it was innocent. How do you use the app? I want to clip that coupon. Can you help me? What was strange, when I looked down his phone was on meat, not cookies. 

I was nice but frankly stated how easy the process was after he was able to get signed in. Then I made a b-line down the next isle. I didn’t feel right, so I headed out to the checkout. All the while, I had believed that I was watching around me to make sure I wasn't being followed. I was NOT leaving if he was following me, that was for sure. I had believed that I was safe at the checkout, but as I grabbed my small cart and looked up, there he was. Asking the attendant the same exact question that I had been asked.

To say that I RAN to the car was an understatement. As soon as I pushed the cart into the return aisle (one spot away) I saw him staring at me from the door, then turning to go back into the store. It was almost as if he didn't have time to get to me. I high tailed it out of there. 

Now, I sit here at home where I should feel safe. I have checked the doors multiple times to be sure they were locked. I have checked the cameras. I have my dogs with me. I am not sleeping. What keeps running through my head is that Tik Tok trend that was going viral recently. You probably know, but in case not, it was all about asking a woman who they would rather be left in the woods with…a Man or a Bear?

It really was an interesting trend. Trust me, I fully understand that not all men are bad. I have a husband that would protect me to death and friends at work that I would like to think would do the same. However, I have also been part of a family unit that was touched by such nastiness and past incidents that made me feel uncomfortable. 

With that said, I was not surprised by the answer that most women gave.  It was always the Bear that I heard chosen. Why so? Well I think some of it is the unknown. We know the bear will either attack or run. What we do not know is what the Man could do.

And now, I lay here thinking about this trend and I too have my answer. Terrified doesn't even begin to explain how I felt and how I will feel for some time. I am saddened at this feeling, but today I know my answer.  

Today I Choose the Bear.

Grounding for Peace

In a state of Chaos, many people become reactionary. To be honest, when life is crazy, who has time to plan ahead? So how did I get through to the other side and what am I doing to stay there? The answer is simple, grounding.

Let me backup for a second. I first had to realize that something had to change. Many people are raised on core beliefs of those around them. The parents, grandparents, or guardians all pass down some of their understanding on the how and why of life. Each person is impacted by the way other people have shown up for them. For many people these beliefs are great and continue into life, for others, we may have to find a different way.

For me, the trauma that I have experienced in the past years has led me to a lot of questions. One thing has always been constant though, and that is my spiritual connection. I have always had a strong pull into that area of my life. I have also always believed in kindness but soon realized that I was not being kind to myself. So, I began to dig deeper. I was unsure what was to come.




I knew that what I needed was connection.Oddly enough, I did not want connection with people, yet. What I wanted was to feel connected to my spiritual side. This is where grounding comes into play. The simple meaning of grounding, according to the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary & Thesaurus (1), is to be based firmly on something. 

I know this does sound a little out there at first glance. Upon my surprise, grounding techniques are used in therapy quite a bit. It all makes a little more sense as to why I took to it so easily. Fighting my inner demons (otherwise known as depression and anxiety) can be calmed using grounding. (Please note I am NOT a Doctor and you should only take medical advice from your Doctor).



Okay, let’s get to what you all want to know. How do I ground? In the beginning, it was a simple practice. It was the end of Summer last year and one day I went outside and sat on the grass, closed my eyes, and took deep breaths. I instantly felt better. Was it the breathing? Possibly, but to me it was the whole process that made me feel so much better. 

Eventually, I began to take off my shoes and put my bare feet in the grass. Still continuing my breathing. Day in and day out I kept doing this. It was part of a nighttime ritual. A slice of me time after a crazy day. Then one day, I did not have a chance to do this and by morning I immediately regretted it. At that very moment in the morning, I decided that this would be a practice for me to do daily. 

Today grounding could look like it did those first days or it could be different. For example, tonight I was outside but I didn’t sit in the grass. I did, however, close my eyes and breathe in the air, the wind, the surroundings. Instantly I felt grounded again. Other ways are walking outside, hiking, or touching the earth in some way. Unfortunately, sometimes I have to settle for sitting somewhere in the silence and breathing. 

Whatever way, the whole point is to refocus on myself. Focus inside, heal the inner self, or focus on that small quiet place to re-center. 

I hope you try this and find some peace. May I suggest practicing this daily in some form. May you have the best day. 

Love and Light.

Julie

Going from Chaos to Peace

It has been no secret that life has been chaotic in the most recent years. To be honest, this is not special to me. We have all felt loss, in big ways. These losses have come in relationships, connections, and self.  


This has held true in my life too. Years ago, I found painting as a form of relief, a way to heal from the inside. Once the healing began, the universe decided to change things in a big way. At first there was a time of reaction. Who do we take care of? What has to be done next? Where is time going? What the heck was that?

Yep this was me every single day. In a matter of 7 years I lost 2 major people in my life both to cancer, both daughters had traumatic events (those are their stories to tell and I respect that), and I (an only child) had to learn to be there for my mom (since she lost her whole world). Aside from these events, other things happened; I became a Nana and my daughter moved back in! 

This was all very overwhelming. For the longest time, I was on auto pilot. Each day was going on with just doing the motions. Taking care of everyone has always been who I I thought I had to be. This became my whole being. Would I do it again? The answer is probably. However I learned a great deal about my self, what I want, and what needed to change.

Unfortunately, with all of the focus on others, the art fell a little to the side. I was unwilling to give it up, but it was not getting the attention that I once had given it. I fought, and fought, to keep it going. I kept coming back to creating and trying. Art once healed me, it certainly would do it again. Right?

I truly believe that creativity does wonders for the soul. What I didn’t realize was that I wasn’t doing that part of my life justice. To put that much hurt and pain into my art just made me more and more frustrated. In those years, I renamed my business Chaotic Artist. Life was truly chaotic, and honestly when my best friend told me that is how my life was, I began to embrace it and live that way. Chaos was necessary to survive. 

Slowly, I realized how broken I had become. Life seemed complicated and heavy. Fighting my demons (otherwise known as depression and anxiety) had taken a toll. The first reaction was why me? What did I do? That was until I began my new spiritual journey that I realized my broken parts had to be opened and I had to heal other areas so that I could allow peace in. Unfortunately, pouring these feelings into art wasn’t working for me.

Sitting with myself, I began to realize how negative life had become. Whose fault was that? The answer was just me. It was all my fault. From that moment on, I have taken a different approach. Trying to eliminate the negative has been hard. It seems that everyone complains. Heck, I even find myself still going back to that way of thinking. Negativity clouds focus and vision of what people have. I firmly believe, what we focus on, becomes reality.

This focus on the negative has begun to change when I try to find the positive. First it started with the little things. I celebrated the open parking spot at the grocery store (instead of dreading the store). Actually saying out loud, at times to only those spirits around me, Thanks I am so happy this happened because (insert good thing). I have even begun to take it to my employees. They will come in with something negative and I will say, “Okay, but tell me what is the best that can happen?” 

So here I am today, mindfully changing my view on life. Is it easy, no. Is it necessary, yes. With that comes a slight change in my name and business. Welcome to Sage Jules. Sage represents clarity and wisdom. This is where we Find Peace after Chaos in life. Chaos was and still is an important part of life. It is just time to release it from the focus, and bring in that clarity and wisdom. We will still be creating, but we will also be talking about hard things, fun things, books, and just things in general. This is a safe space for us all to heal and find the next journey. 

I hope you join in the adventures to see where we can grow together. 

And remember WHAT’S THE BEST THAT CAN HAPPEN?